Like mostly everybody else, I love movies. They’re just an excellent platform of entertainment being that you can take a little adventure over a couple of hours or so and all you have to do is park your hind quarters and pay attention. That being said, I’d like to gush over a movie that I’ve loved since I was a young chap: Red Dawn. I saw this about ten years or so ago, and I think it’s one of the best movies ever. It’s about a group of high school students that take refuge in the mountains because the Russians have started invading the United States, and then these guys adopt their football team’s name, “The Wolverines,” and take action against the Soviets. Doesn’t that just sound awesome? High school students forming a makeshift militia in the mountains to defend their hometown. I think that’s the definition of glory. Anyways, I love this movie because it involves the timeless theme of friendship. The story is intriguing, and you’re pulling for these kids the whole film. You want them to bring the heat down on the bad guys so badly you can taste it. Just like morning breath. Well, you don’t want that, but you can definitely taste it. Never mind, that’s actually really disgusting. Also, I hate sports movies, but this team is one I could back.
The film stars Patrick Swayze and Charlie Sheen. They play brothers, and they stick together like middle school lovebirds. I was always really stoked about their relationship, ’cause they looked out for one another and kicked a million asses in unison. I think if the Russians did something similar, my brother and I would b-line straight for the hills and do the same thing. How cool would that be? All of my friends and I could camp out and fight bad guys. Maybe I’d have a romantic escapade and swap spit with some babe on top of a forest hill while she clutched the back of my neck with her thumb behind my ear as the autumn air stung my cheeks. Face cheeks, not ass cheeks. That, however, would be hilarious. How cool would that be though? It’d make me smile like bastard, and that’s for sure. So, in order to have the most glorious experience ever I need to have: 1) An army invade the country 2) A clichéd love interest in army regalia 3) A machine gun and/or a hunting rifle, and 4) An ass-load of trees to hide in. Haha, sweet. I’ll keep that in mind in case one of my weirdest dreams happens to come true.
