I Am An Ignoramus

Have you ever had something embarrassing happen to you, but the thing that embarrassed you happened unbeknownst to you at the time? That happened to me today. This afternoon I went around the city to drop off my résumé at a couple of places. The Summer is here and I need money. So, I walked around the mall and distributed what I believe was an invitation for greatness, and then I left.

I was having a great day. The sun was out, the birds were singing merrily, and I figured I’d treat myself to some chocolate milk and Red Bull. I then went home and listened to some jams on my computer. The afternoon came to a climax when I realized something. I was walking towards my bathroom and my shorts felt especially breezy on this particular occasion. “Weird,” I thought. I flicked on the bathroom lights and examined myself in the mirror, and when I turned my body I found the source of ventilation.

There was a 12 inch rip from my belt-loop down the right leg of my shorts. I froze in horror. I had been walking around all day in a mall with this massive gash revealing my tush. I retraced my steps and was flooded with humiliation. I had (and still have) no idea how that rip even came to be. It’s a good thing I was wearing boxers, or the mall would have been treated to a great view of my butt flaps. As soon as I came to terms with what had happened I called my Mom and she thought my predicament was hilarious. I think what happened was funny, but at the same time I can’t believe I was so exposed without realizing it. If anybody saw, you’re welcome. 

                             

Tags: Anecdote, Embarrassment, Hilarity