I’m going to say something preposterous. Last thursday, I went out to supper with my family and some friends, and although the food was good and the conversation was lively, it was the drive home that I truly enjoyed. I was sitting in the back seat of the car, and as we were chatting it up, I ripped a blog-worthy fart. Yeah, kind of weird. I get it. But this story needs to be told.
I don’t need to give you all the deets on this particular experience of flatulence, for I’m pretty sure you’re all familiar with the worldly phenomenon of “cutting the cheese.” However, something truly marvelous hatched out of this episode, much like a phoenix rising out of the ashes (Harry Potter, represent). So, being a guy, I need to take some pride in my gas, for that’s what guys do. I never let the beefers fly around ladies (except for one time, but that’s another story), so when I’m with the guys, farting is fair and completely acceptable. When you think about it, everybody’s got a story where somebody let one go in class, and you could barely contain yourself post-rip, so I’m not ashamed to talk about this. I think farting is great, but back to my story.
The fart rips, and I waft it through the air so the fellahs can really experience my masterpiece. I think this is one of the funniest things that happened all night, and as I became more familiar with the smell, it hit me. This is exactly how farts smelled in grade 3. I can’t explain it, but this particular beef made me reminisce. Who says that? “I farted, and it reminded me of days of yore.” Me, that’s who. I was so happy to have all of my memories of staying up ’till 10:30 on friday nights and thinking I was a badass come back to me in a flash motivated by nothing other than a beefer. Memories of Beast Wars, Goosebumps, and Are You Afraid Of The Dark? danced around my brain, and as my friends were gagging on the nerve gas I devised, I happily looked out the foggy window into the night remembering the days when life was easy, dinosaurs were embraced by everyone, and farting was still as funny as it is now.
